It's been over a month since i last posted, which is pretty awful, but a lot has come up. We've ofcourse had this FMP business unloaded to us which has got everyone working on overtime. As well as this, i've had a few visits from friends, a visit from the boyf and then a trip back to Oxford to spend time with him. My mac broke which was a massive bugger and got me to points of boredom i haven't reached in a long long time. Interviews here and there, and a couple of rejections later, here i am. Basically two more weeks of college left. Two weeks of Foundation. Mental.


My FMP started out as a plan to just gather things i've taken and experienced from my time in London and whop it on a canvas; it's very important to me as living in London was my dream and i've finally done it. These canvases are thought out ofcourse; i struggle to explain why i make certain marks, but i know which marks i should make and i have a good idea on what i think looks good in my head. Putting that across to the tutors, however, is another matter. On Monday i was told i need to stop talking bollocks and change my subject matter from being all over the place to one specific subject/focus. In this case, i've decided to document the journeys i take daily. Always carrying a camera, i shoot things that catch my eye and try to record what and who i see. I don't know how i can explain this in an exciting thrilling way but surely my work should be doing the talking anyway, rather than myself. 
I understand an artist needs to have a sense of what their doing and get used to talking about works, but these artists are usually interviewed and asked specific questions; when i get stood in a corridor with my work lined up for everyone to see and just get stared at by my tutors and expected to talk, i stutter, panic and literally no words or nothing exciting can come out. Knowing this, i have my Chelsea interview in about a month from now and i'm literally bricking myself and holding no real hope that i'll get in just due to my sheer lack of confidence when talking about what's infront of me. I can't tell you why i find a certain composition interesting, or why certain colours happen to stand out and appeal to me. 
If i don't get in to chelsea, my only real option i'd want to take is a gap year to work full time and do art in any spare time i have. BA is so appealing because you're just left to your own devices to experiment, a lot like foundation, but it's a continuation of this, and that's really what i need to develop and take my work further. The fact i may not get in because i can't talk is incredibly unfair and it's really bummed and stressed me out.
That last paragraph turned into a bit of a rant, really.
Anyway, the FMP is now on journeys and i'm hoping i have a good collection of work by the 31st. 


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